Do you wonder why some people achieve more than others? Things seem to go their way?
Is it that they are smarter than anyone else? Is it that they have the right family, education, ethnic or economic background?
I have been thinking about being unstoppable as I sit here in Houston while missing a Workshop I was registered to attend in Montreal. As you can imagine, I am highly frustrated about it.

So what has stopped me from being there? What did the participants who made it there do that I didn’t do? This is the first workshop I have missed since I began attending these in 1999.

Let me see if I can sum up what happened. I was in LA for a conference and headed to the Workshop in Montreal. When I got to the airport I discovered that my passport had expired.
EXPRED! They were NOT going to let me on the plane!

I made some calls and was told to make my case at the Post Office and they couldn’t help me. They gave me a number to the passport office and the next available appointment was for August 8th. Well my Workshop is over on August 6th. No help there.

So, I booked a flight home. I decided to call one of my associates who recommended I contact my Congressman’s Office so I did. They agreed to make a call on my behalf… but by the time I got to Houston the Congressman’s Office was closed.
I decided I would do something about it in the morning. Well when I got up I was tired. I called the passport office and was told there were no appointments available until next week.

So, I unpacked my bags and started catching up on my work. After six days of being away from home, I was tired. I knew I would miss the conference today even if I could get my passport renewed… So I gave up. I just gave up. I talked to several people later in the day that said if I would have gone downtown without an appointment to the passport office, I could have possibly got it renewed. But I didn’t do that. Ugh!
To top it off, when I went online the cost to fly at the last minute had jumped to more than $2,300.00 for one coach ticket. Really?

So I am in Houston wondering how in the world I got here. This is not how I normally operate.
I usually persist until I get what I want. I am persistent, I don’t give up!!

So the question is, where did I give up and where do you give up? What stops you?
I gave up because:
1. I didn’t believe I was going to be able to get it done.
2. I quit believing it was possible.
3. I gave up because the cost looked to high
4. It didn’t look like it would work out- I canceled my hotel room, so hey if I had gotten there would I have been able to get a room?

Where are you stopped? What are you allowing to stop you?
Where has fear of failure hit you? Where has the concern about money or safety stopped you?
When did you stop believing was possible?

See if you can catch yourself being stopped today. Identify what is stopping you from being everything you can be and achieving everything you want to achieve!
And get busy!!!

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill

When I think of someone who exemplifies these quotes it’s Karen McCullough (no relation). Karen has given to me and others generously. Karen is an energetic, entertaining and highly sought after Keynote Speaker. She has successfully built a speaking business and has diligently honed her craft.

So why would she be interested in sharing what she has learned?
Great question.

When I decided to add speaking to my business I found a class that Karen was teaching on being a keynote speaker. I thought being in the speaking business looked easy. I have spoken at conference breakouts for the last 12+years. So I thought being a keynote speaker looked easy, isn’t it?

NOT

I was struck by how generous Karen was in the class, sharing everything that she had learned as a successful speaker. She shared what didn’t work, what to watch out for and most importantly, got us to “get” what it’s going to take to be successful in the speaking business. Since that first class, I have taken every class she has offered on speaking. I have learned so much from Karen.

I was delighted to be invited to join Karen’s Mastermind group of professional speakers. Even thought I knew I didn’t have time for one more thing, I was not going to pass up the opportunity to spend time with her generous spirit. She keeps saying she gets as much as she gives to us, but its hard for me to see that.

Karen shares trends in the business. When she learns something new she can’t wait to tell us what she has found out as she travels throughout the country inspiring audiences.

Rather than see the other speakers in our group as competition, Karen promotes and tells people about us!

In this day of ever increasing competition and demand for our time and attention, it can be easy for us to focus only on ourselves and what we need or want.

Are you generous and encouraging? Do you know how the impact of your actions when you do give?

Where can you be generous today? Even if it’s in having the people your life be OK just they way they are.

“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving” Albert Einsten

The challenge with that is that titles don’t generate leadership.

I am of the view that anyone can provide Leadership. It’s a choice.
The second perspective I hear is Leadership is reserved for those older and wiser… I don’t know about you, but I know some people who fit that criteria, have titles and are not providing leadership.
Its true the younger generations don’t have the life experience, but it doesn’t negate the opportunity for the effective exercise of leadership.

While I am in Lubbock this weekend celebrating my daughter, Brittany McCullough’s recent engagement, I am reminded of a time when she chose to provide Leadership. Here’s the story. You decide..

One Easter weekend, when Brittany was just 21 she decided to come home for the long holiday, and although we wanted her to fly, she decided to make the 8 hour drive instead.

Well I got a phone about an hour or two before Brittany was to arrive in Houston and it was Brittany, she said, Mom, I am sorry, but I am going to be a little late getting to Houston. When I asked her why she said, well I was going through Abilene and I witnessed an accident so I pulled over to render aid. This is the story she told me:

“A big truck hit a car with an elderly couple inside. The people at the scene were just standing around in a panic, so I decided to take charge, somebody needed to. It was weird because I am telling all of these older adults what to do. I told them to call 911 and get some help. I ran over to the older gentlemen and asked if he needed help and he was saying “my wife, my wife” ..I immediately told him I was trained in CPR, ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) and asked permission to help her. He said “Yes please please help her!”. The elderly woman was slumped over in her car and had stopped breathing… so I started rendering aid. Eventually she started coughing and began breathing again. The women’s husband was screaming with joy. He even asked me if he could give me some money for saving her life, and I said of course not thats what anyone would do. The ambulance got there about then and the paramedics were surprised at what I had done. I did what anyone would have done, Mom. So I am sorry that I am going to be a little late getting home.”

What I thought was really? Your worried about being home late, when you just saved a woman’s life? I am so proud of her actions that day.

Why do I say she provided leadership? Brittany showed commitment and courage, gave direction to people twice her age, she took action in a crises and stayed cool and calm and the result was she saved a life. In my experience-all characteristics successful leaders..

On a holiday weekend how many people must have passed that accident and not stopped?

How many accidents have I passed without a thought about stopping in Houston?

How many times do we decide young people aren’t able to provide leadership? Would you have stopped? Are you overlooking the possibility for the young people in your life to provide leadership?

Your thoughts?

 From Walt Disney’s Wizard of Oz

Cowardly Lion: Courage!

What makes a king out of a slave? Courage!

What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage!

What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage!

What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage!

What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot?

What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman: Courage!
Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh? Courage

Like the cowardly Lion,

there are times when we all want to run and hide

There are times when the challenges are much too high

 But the times we remember the most

Are those when we’re willing to make the difficult choice

The one thing I have found is successful Leaders are courageous.  They are willing to take responsibility for things that don’t go well.   

When you look around you see leaders in every area who have had to overcome many obstacles and persevere through many trials to achieve what they did. Almost every instance of leadership that has pushed us along toward progress has involved courage. From those who lead great countries to those who lead small businesses, school districts and everyone in between, great leaders must show courage in the face of obstacles and tough decisions.

Think about the moments of courage each business leader faces all the time that, in the long run, they add up to whether they will become successful:

The courage to expand. When you get to the point where things are comfortable, it’s easy to decide to just settle in. Relax. Enjoy yourself. You can be afraid of what happens if you take one more risk to go for the big gain. What happens if it doesn’t work out? Play it safe instead. Leaders face that decision with courage. They understand the ramifications, but they overcome their fear, act with courage and move forward. It takes courage to leave the status quo behind and expand.

The courage to make tough decisions. At least weekly, the average business leader will face a really tough decision. Most of the time, they face a decision between an easy but poor choice versus the difficult but good choice. A lot of life is like that. Those who succeed and become strong leaders are those who can reach deep down inside and consistently act on the hard but right decision. That takes courage.

The courage to take action. When people aren’t performing do you take action? Sure, there are some heartless people who enjoy firing an underperformer, but I have found that most leaders don’t like having to let people go. Even if they know the person should go, they feel bad about having to make the decision. They care about how it will affect the person and their family. They wonder how other employees will react, particularly if the employee is popular. They may even be concerned about whether that person will respect them anymore. But this is part of courageous leadership.  

The courage to lead. Businesses in our age, have to be able to change direction. When faced with the need to lead, when it’s time to stay the course and when its time to change direction, strong leaders make the leap. Weak leaders doubt. They fear change. They do nothing. And, eventually, they go down with the ship. Strong leaders look forward, see where they need to go, they create visions and plans, gain commitment from their teams and execute. That takes courage.

So what is courage? It is simply acting on what you know is right, regardless of any fear you may have. It is the choice to disregard worry. It is the choice to pursue our goals, to lead the way for others.  

The day you begin to stare down your fears and problems as a leader, and instead act courageously, your future will change. You will accomplish things you once only dreamed of. You will experience things you thought were only for others. You will realize that your fears were unsubstantiated. You will begin to provide great leadership.

Our world needs great leaders now more than ever. We need courageous leaders who will see into the future and set the agenda for others to get there. This month, make it your goal to reach within yourself and act with courage. You will be glad you did!

Day 3 of my Mastermind Group 30 Day Challenge

Successful leaders understand the growth of their people is critical.

In 1998 had the opportunity to be part of the leadership team of a commercial bank that took on the growth of their leaders.  The CEO of the Bank, George Martinez, who is now Chairman of a local Houston Bank he started, called Allegiance Bank Texas, http://www.allegiancebanktexas.com/abt_executives.asp

read a book in the last 90’s called The Fifth Discipline, by Peter Senge.   http://www.solonline.org/FifthDiscipline/ (updated in 2006)

 In the book, Senge shares the benefits of creating a learning organization, one where everyone is learning and growing, is those organizations are more flexible and adaptable in changing economic conditions which resulted in higher performance. I had the opportunity to take the lead the cultural transformation and creating the learning organization. 

We begin the cultural transformation with the top 25 leaders of the organization and supported their growth and expansion as leaders, coaches, managers.    We worked with a Leadership Coach and Consultant and customized a transformational leadership development program that we believed would impact the critical factors we identified.  

At the same time we created metrics to determine the impact of our efforts and the return on investment of our time and resources.  So for the next six years I measured everything from the traditional business metrics, like growth of the individual banks and internal divisions, profitability, quality, employee turnover, employee satisfaction, cultural alignment, customer satisfaction, internal service measures and several other measures we created.  We measured the results by bank location and department every quarter.

What happened?  Well our local bank CEO’s and division leaders who took advantage of the opportunity to develop as leaders and were seriously engaged in their own learning consistently outperformed the ones who didn’t on almost every financial measure.    It became clear the growth of the leaders had a consistent and measurable impact on the growth and the success of their organizations. And as you could guess, those leaders who were engaged in learning themselves encouraged and engaged their employee’s growth as well.

The bank outperformed the market for 16 consecutive years and became one of Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work for three consecutive years. In addition the bank was awarded one of American Society of Training and Development BEST awards two years in a row for our Internal University.  We had to create our own measures, because benchmarking against our peers would have taken us backward…

The development of your people is good for them and good for business

Are you serious about your development and the development of your teams? 

One of the interesting things that happened during that time.  When the culture became a strong learning culture, those who didn’t get “on the bus” and take on their own growth development as leaders chose to leave the organization.

I will never forget one of our banks CEO’s who was one of my friends decided to leave the bank.  When I met with him to find out why he was leaving this is what he said. “Bambi you told me I needed to take my own growth and development seriously and I didn’t.  Now my bank office is performing in the middle of the pack, instead of ranking number 1 or 2 in performance.  The others who took on their development have passed me up. So, I am going to go to a smaller bank that isn’t up to big things where I can stand out.”  He knew what was best for him, and it was good for everybody…

Where are you?  Are you taking on your growth and the growth of the leaders of your organization?    Do you know your competition is likely to pass you by if you don’t?

Your thoughts?

I think everyone believes that relationships are important. If that’s the case, then why don’t spend time to create them?  Everyone is busy these days… with more to do than we will ever actually get done.  Adding time to create relationships seems frivolous or less important than doing something tangible like writing a proposal or sending an e-mail. 

I have so many examples of the impact of not having built sufficient relationships I could write a book about it!  From having relationships with people on your team, to creating authentic relationships in the community, to those in the organization that are critical to your success.

I once was hired to Coach an executive women of a large international firm.  I’ll call her Mary.  Mary had been reorganized out of the organization and had been referred to me. She wanted me to help her figure out what she wanted to do next.

When Mary and I met she said she didn’t know what happened.  The man who had gotten the role (I’ll call him Gary) was her peer. They each had half of the world under their domain.  She said, “Bambi my personal performance scores were higher, my team scores were higher than his, what happened?”  When I asked her about the relationships she had on the leadership team that she was part of, her response was, “ Well, I had a relationship with my boss. He told me he would take care of me.” That was the only person on the leadership team with whom Mary had a relationship!  When I asked her about Gary’s relationship with the team, her response was, “Well he has a relationship with everyone on the team.” 

It’s critical to create and maintain relationships!    

 When I start an organization wide project one of the first things we do is have the team identify and rate their relationships with the people who are critical to the success of the project. Those who are influencers, with and without formal titles.  You’d be surprised to hear the pushback when that is their first assignment, to create the missing relationships. Its not seen as real work.   

This hasn’t always been my practice. When I was on the leadership team of  a Bank.  The CEO kept telling me to spend more time visiting with people.   I would say to myself  “Are you kidding? I have real work to do!”   I find similar responses today when I suggest they make this list and actually act on it.

I want you to consider that taking time to build authentic business relationships is critical, and IS part of the real work.   You don’t have to go out at night and drink, or golf every week to create relationships.  Just spend time, getting to know the person, what are they committed to in their work?

Think of relationship as the foundation of a house.  The bigger the house, the higher the walls the thicker the foundation needed to support the structure.  Do you have the foundation of relationships you need?  How will you do that? What actions could you take to deepen the relationships…? 

Every conversation is an opportunity to enhance a relationship

Important Note: Remember creating relationship is not a onetime event.  Like watering the flowers, if you don’t keep nurturing the relationship, it will disappear.  When I ask them to rate the relationships they need to have to be successful in their projects or goals.   

After all,  relationships are the spice of life!

As I was thinking about blogging for thirty days in a row, I wondered what it was going to take to form a new habit of blogging daily. So I decided to do some research to see if 30 days was sufficient to create my new habit. 

Here’s what I found on forming new habits:

Google says it takes from 21 to 28 days to form a habit. I looked for research on forming a habit and it turns out there is no basis behind the 21 days to create a habit.  Odly enough I found in psyblog http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/09/how-long-to-form-a-habit.php information about a study in the UK in 2009 that reveals that when we want to develop a relatively simple habit like eating a piece of fruit each day or taking a 10 minute walk, it could take us over two months of dailyrepetitions before the behaviour becomes a habit. And, while this research suggests that skipping single days isn’t detrimental in the long-term, it’s those early repetitions that give us the greatest boost in automaticity. Wow!  In fact the research indicated no improvement after day 66.  So it takes close to 66 days to form a new habit! 

Perhaps in the past we have all given up too soon.  I always heard 21 days was the magic number.   The article says that the 21 day myth may well come from a book published in 1960 by a plastic surgeon. Dr Maxwell Maltz who noticed that amputees took, on average, 21 days to adjust to the loss of a limb and he argued that people take 21 days to adjust to any major life changes.     Unless you’re in the habit of sawing off your own arm, this is not particularly relevant.

I challenge you to pick something you want to start doing, a new habit you want to form and begin doing it every day.

Ensure you have time to  form this new habit by scheduling time to work on it your calendar. If there is no time in your calendar to do it, it isn’t going to happen.  And then repeat for 66 days. 

Let me know what you choose and how it is going along the way!

As I start to reflect on 2009 and think about 2010, I am reminded of a set of questions that I like to use to support my clients and my family to say goodbye to the current year and get prepared and excited about the coming year.

I am sharing these questions with you below. These are useful for organizations or individual Leaders.
If you are doing this exercise as an individual, it’s nice to have a good friend or family member participate with you and share your answers.
Have Fun! Send me a note if you have any questions that come up when doing the exercise.

1. What happened in 2009 that did not work?

What are your personal and organizational goals and initiatives that didn’t get fulfilled? (answer like you were reporting to the newspaper. Just the facts. No drama please) Shy away from judging or assessing what happened. This exercise is just stating what happened (like the replay video in football)

2. What was the “Big Issue” of 2009?
What issue did it seem you were talking about all year?
For some it was the economy. What was it for you?

3. Who are you “incomplete” with?

Is there anyone you need to follow-up with?
Anyone you need to apologize to?
Who do you need to thank for their help this year?
(Write down whoever comes to mind when you ask this question.)
Are there any actions to take or calls to make?

4. What worked in 2009?
What was successful? What turned out the way you planned it?
What new projects were implemented successfully?
What new things did you take on successfully?

5. What was your big accomplishment(s) in 2009?
What are you most proud of accomplishing?
What was a stretch for you but you made it?
Be generous with yourself here!

6. What do you want to be acknowledged for?

What did you do that no one knows about? Include the things you did that others saw but didn’t acknowledge you for it.

Anything else you want to say about 2009?

On my next blog entry I will share the questions for creating your goals for the New Year. Happy Thanksgiving. Bambi

In spite of a down economy, I have had a great year and I am really thankful for the clients we have the pleasure to work with.

However, most of the people I talk to who provide Business Consulting and Executive Coaching as well, tell me they have had a challenging year and their business is down significantly.

So what is the difference between what we are doing in my firm and what other business consultants and executive coaches are doing?

Is it that we are just great coaches and consultants and everyone chooses our firm over everyone else? While I believe we do have methods that are superior (of course I believe in our people and our methodology, that’s why I use it!) I do think there are some great coaches and consultants out there… I don’t think that is what has made the difference.

So what has made a difference in our organization’s results?
What has impacted our ability to produce great results even in a down economy when budgets for training, coaching and business consulting have been cut?

Of course we could analyze this from many different directions. However when I speak to the consultants who have called me to inquire what we have been doing that they aren’t, one thing has become really clear to me.

We have not been operating under the same “context”. So what do I mean by context? And what context have we been operating from that has made the difference?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines “context” as the surrounding conditions, the circumstances in which events occur.

Said another way, context is the world you operate inside of – it frames everything you see and do. It is of monumental importance because it pulls the organization in a particular direction.

The context we have operated from has been from what I have been saying; “There is plenty of business out there! We help great leaders emerge, and people need leadership now more than ever!”

A context of there is plenty of opportunity for our work has created a completely different way of operating; it has changed how we relate to each other, our clients and our prospects.

As a result of a context, there is plenty, we didn’t listen to the conversation about how bad things are, or that there is no business out there, or budgets are going to be tight until 2010… and on and on. In fact, when I did start to buy that, I turned off the news. I know it has been challenging for some people and I don’t want to be insensitive. One of my clients had to layoff people twice and it was challenging for everyone there.

However, if I had been operating from the context of things are bad and companies are not buying… it would have resulted in a different set of actions taken by myself and my team. None of those conversations created a context that would have led to taking advantage of the available business that IS out there.

Another example of how our context impacts results was one of my former salespeople kept saying that selling consulting and coaching was hard. As long as she operated from the context of selling consulting is hard, she found it hard to sell. Although she found people who were interested in talking about what we have to offer and was having lots of meetings with prospects, even multiple meetings with the same prospect, still she was not able to close a contract.

Her conversation created a context, selling consulting is hard, and that resulted in certain actions that did not result in sales, and eventually she left the firm.

For more information on how our performance correlates to how situations occur for us-
I recommend you read my friend, Steve Zaffron’s book. The Three Laws of Performance- Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life.
www.threelawsofperformance.com

So here’s the challenge. What is the context you as a leader are operating from?
What is the context your organization is operating from?
How would you know? Is it a context that supports your goals and objectives?

I am excited to share my thoughts from more than 15 years of experience in Coaching and Consulting CEO’s and Senior Leaders; in addition to more than 15 years of being a Senior Executive in growing a multi-billion dollar organization.

I intend this blog makes a difference for the leaders I work with, as well as to stimulate dialogues on your different perspectives.

My view is there is always something new to learn. And I believe it is critical for leaders to continue to learn. I continue to create opportunities for my own learning, believing that I cannot serve my clients or expect them to do anything I am not or have not been willing to do myself; in fact I still have a business coach.

I have found that the growth of an organization is directly correlated to the growth of it’s leaders. After all organizations don’t perform, people do.

In my experience organizations where the leaders’ consistently gain new capacities, perspectives and methods are those that are most successful. In fact, I measured the results for more than five years of 10+ divisions within an organization, and those divisions with Leaders who were open to learning, that were being coached and gaining new perspectives and methods consistently produced better results in the growth and profitability of their divisions. In addition their divisions had work environments that brought out the best in their people which resulted in higher customer service measures and employee fulfillment scores as well as low employee turnover percentages.

Being a great Leader requires courage. I am committed to Leaders being all they can be.
In fact one of the things that I observe in organizations is that Leadership is mostly missing. I find that many organizations that I go into are over managed and under led.  How are you expanding your capacity?

Here’s to a new level of Leadership for us all!

I welcome your comments and questions. I look forward to some stimulating dialogues!

Bambi McCullough, CEO, Chrysalis Partners, LLC.